30 August 2009

I can't handle the weight of the world that rests upon my shoulders.

I'm trying to think of reasons why I care so much......
And I can't find a reason. I just do.
Sometimes, I wonder if I can stop caring.
But, I know I can't.
I want to stop caring.
Then everything wouldn't hurt so bad.
Like the fact that I will probably never have my best friend back.
Or that because I fall too hard too fast that I will scare every guy I have/will ever like away.
If I didn't care so much, it wouldn't hurt.
Sam was right.
I want everyone to be my friend and I want everyone to like me.
And knowing that people aren't my friend or don't like me absolutely KILLS me.
And maybe, I'm not strong enough to handle that.
I hate admitting that I am a weak person,
but I am.
I am very weak.
That is probably why Senora hates me.
That is probably why everyone eventually gets bored with me and moves on.
I want to say I'm okay with that,
but I know it would be a lie.

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