28 October 2009
OMFG!!! I WANT TO GO TO THE PULSE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!!! SO BAD, IT'S REDONKULOUS!!!!!!
I have no more news....
25 October 2009
This is what I want to say to Matt, ONLY because he keeps blowing me off and I guess I should take a hint, but i'm not.
I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU, YOU NIMWAD!!!!! The reason I keep asking you if you want to hang out is because I am sick of my friends. All of my friends go to my school. All of my friends are super competitive and I can't take it anymore! I want to hang out with you because you are the one person who I haven't known since birth and you aren't super competitive and you're super chill and you don't want to go to college so you don't worry about things as much. I know this makes me sound like a bad person, but I don't care. I'm just sick of all this competition and shit that apparently everyone of my friends loves. And I feel like I'm missing out on stuff and I never get the time to just sit back and enjoy life.
But, of course, I'm not going to say that.
24 October 2009
- Since the 5th grade, I have had imaginary boyfriends.
- Until now, my imaginary boyfriends felt real. I would talk to them. They would hold me, kiss me, make me feel special.
- Now, I can't feel my imaginary boyfriends because it's just set in that they aren't real.
- I'm sad that I can't feel my imaginary boyfriends because there is a very very minimal chance that I will have a real boyfriend anytime in my near or distant future.
- I like being depressed because then at least I know I can feel something.
Those are the only secrets I can think of right now. If anyone reads this, which I know they don't, they will think I am crazy. Sometimes, I think I'm crazy. Who knows.
Well, that's all for today.
19 October 2009
Hello guys and dolls.
It's been a very boring monday today. The only interesting things that happened were:
- I got a top hat!!!!!
- I got lime green suspenders!!!!!
- There was a rather large bug on my windshield and I tried to get it off with my windshield wipers, but I just scraped its butt along the windshield. The bug eventually crawled away...just without a butt. XD
Well, one of my friends and I have been trying to convince another of our friends that his new band name is HORRIBLE compared to the previous one and that he is losing his focus from the music and INTEGRITY and focusing on the ditzy idiots that call themselves his fans. We really want him to do well and we love his music, but he's getting farther and farther away from his original goal. We just wish he will see what he's forgotten.
In other news, I saw a picture of Matt today. It made me realize how much I miss him. Not romantically or anything. He's just different from my other friends. And seeing as, I am somehow pushing my friends away, I was kind of hoping he still wanted to be my friend. But, it's obvious he doesn't want to, which is kinda sad.
You know what else is sad? The fact that I am pushing my friends away. I know what I am doing to push them away. I just can't seem to stop. I am being horribly mean. I'm also being self-centered. I need to stop. I also talk too much. My friends don't talk much. Why do I talk so much? I hate the sound of my own voice. But, I think I hate silence more. So, I talk to fill the silence. Or maybe it's from all those years of being silent and everyone asking me what's wrong. I don't want people to pity me. There is nothing wrong. If there is, I will tell them. Because, I have no filter.
Okay, I need to go clean my room.
Song of the Day - "Kids" by MGMT
18 October 2009
Song of the Week - Capsize by Karen O and the Kids
16 October 2009
How are you? I hope you're doing well. I'm writing you to say that I am sorry I made things awkward. I wish we could still be friends. You were a pretty cool guy the few days that we were friends.
See you around,
Please stop acting like we are together. Obviously, we are not, seeing as you have TWO boyfriends. So, don't even act like you're into me because I KNOW you are not. And by the way, marijuana is addictive.
How's it going? I hope you are well. I seriously thought that things would be different. They aren't and I understand that it is my fault. I wish I hadn't said the things that I did, but you can't change the past. I've noticed that over the years, I've been a horrible friend to you. First, I almost kill you. Then, I talk shit about you on my blog and to Matt. Maybe you've noticed too. I'm sorry. I know you told me to stop saying that, but I feel that I need to. I know you will probably never forgive me and apologizing doesn't make anything right or erase the wrong I've done. But, saying it verbalizes how I feel.
I'll see you around,
I guess it was about time to cut our ties. We're two very different people from two very different crowds. It was fun being your friend. I keep wondering if you were just my friend because I drove you to school or took you places because I'm very different from the rest of your friends. But, honestly, I don't care.
It was nice knowing you,
Sometimes I think I annoy you. I don't know if it's true or not. But, everytime I talk to you, I feel like I should stop talking or I'm talking too much.
See you next monday,
14 October 2009
I don't know what to write about today. Today has been a day full of crappiness. Except that I GOT ACCEPTED TO UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA!!!! other than that, my day hasn't gone so well. It's like everywhere I looked, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS was with their boyfriend or girlfriend. It was like I was the only one left, besides the people who are afraid to have human contact. I mean, EVERY ONE of them had someone. What the fuck? Is it mating season? I seriously ran away from my friends. At the end of school, I was going to hang out with everyone in the parking lot, but when I got there, I was surrounded by awkward. So, I went back to my locker to get a book I didn't need and went the back way to my car. I am pathetic.
Sometimes, I just need to remember how to breathe. I bought some hair dye today. Black and Fushia. I also bought some glitter eyeliner....it's purple. Now I have normal eyeliner, electric blue eyeliner, white eyeliner, green eyeliner, red eyeliner, and PURPLE eyeliner. I'm so happy about that!
I dress like a dude. I wear jeans and a tee everyday. I never wear skirts or dresses. I never wear the hundreds of shoes that I own, that's partially because I have nothing to wear them with. Oh well.
Song of the Day: TimeBomb by Stephen Jerzak
12 October 2009
I haven't posted in a while. Well, this weekend, I went to my cousin's wedding in Baltimore, MD....without a camera....so, I used what I had: my phone. I took pictures of the wedding party and of Baltimore. It was a 12 hour drive. At one point, when we passed through Virginia, we passed a awesometastic river and I didn't get a picture because I am a dumbass. Well, I was going to post some pictures from my trip and a few from the talent show last week, but my phone is being retarded....Well, because my phone is an asshole, here are some random pictures that I can get off my phone.
yes, chelsea, i was taking a picture......and probably acting like an idiot at the same time....
07 October 2009
But, it is Article Day so I get to stuff my face full of spanish food...
That doesn't seem as appetizing as it once did...
I will update this at a later date when I'm not late getting to school...
Song of Morning - "Night Vision Binoculars" by Passenger
06 October 2009
We had our annual Talent Show.
As always, I acted like an idiot.
However, one of my friends juggled and rapped (yeah, white boy!!!)
Two of my friends played "Godzilla" in a band.
And TYLER BALDWIN did a tribute to MAYDAY PARADE because MAYDAY PARADE is awesome.
Of course, the teachers felt the rath of the seniors: all the teachers died except Chambers....he'll never die.....well, D-Mill didn't die either, she just went insane....
Like last year, these 2 girls decided to sing...except THEY CAN'T SING!!!!! and they sang the song that I and 3 of my friends sang sophomore year.....ironic that they are sophomores....BUT!!!! 1. We sang a capella. 2. We had 4 part harmony. 3. WE COULD SING!!!!
I hate it when people try to copy..... I feel sorry for next year's talent show. Unless the freshmen step it up, it will be bad.....OMG! there was this one freshman who played "Clocks" by Coldplay on the piano and I died because he was so adorable!!!!!!
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, CHICKENSSSS!!!!
05 October 2009
04 October 2009
03 October 2009
I was wondering today why I don't have any friends outside of school.... well, the answer to that question's obvious. I never go anywhere outside of school. I'm either at school, at home, or at dance. None of the girls at dance talk to me so I'm pretty sure none of them are my friends.
Also, because I like to reminisce (even on the bad times), I went over the list of guys that have rejected me....it's a long list. And while I was reminiscing, I laughed. I thought my rejection was rather humorous. Wanna see the list? No, oh well.
- Tyler Bland
- Nick Robinson
- Buddy Bruhn
- Ian Krusinski
- Cameron Rose
- Kelvin Dorsey
- Shane Mitchell
- James LeCroy
- Joshua Hayes
- David Coutoumanos
- Huebert Vance
- Christopher Seifert
- Arthur Cortes
- Jacob Mayhew
- Mason McFarland
- Matthew LaPoint
- Shaun Boyles
- Daniel McCurry
I started this list in 5th grade........I'd show you the "not rejected" list, but it's non existance. Sometimes, I don't even know why I liked those guys. Sometimes I do. Sometimes, it depresses me. Sometimes, it angers me. But right now, at this particular moment, it really has no effect. I don't really care at this point. It's not that big a deal. In 11 months, I'll be going off to college. I won't have time to add people to that list. I doubt I will even remember anyone on that list.
I really want some Hershey's Dark Chocolate.......
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